What exactly IS normal? Sunday Surprise [11th May 2025]
Things are strange in some contexts.
Hello there!
I’m writing this one from a slightly quieter house than usual. My wife is away traveling overseas, and even though we’re not decades into marriage (yet), I’ve noticed something we do whenever we’re apart: neither of us sleeps well.
After pondering this for a while, it seemed a bit... dysfunctional? Shouldn’t two adults be able to snooze independently? Couldn’t that be the actually problematic co-dependence?
That’s when I started looking at things in terms of context and how what’s totally normal in one situation is totally weird in another.
So let’s dive in!
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This seems to happen every time one of us is away: For the first few nights, sleep becomes this elusive, patchy thing—like something is missing before brain can relax and get to sleep. Isn’t that pretty dysfunctional? I mean, apart from sheer presence before becoming blissfully asleep, I can’t think of why sleeping in the presence of someone would be normal, especially considering most of us spend most of our young adult lives doing exactly the opposite!
I’ll take a hunch and say that me mentioning this story doesn’t register as alarm — I’d think several would think of it as somewhat romantic. Like a tiny, involuntary protest from the body: “Hey, the other human is missing.” Almost like a reminder of how calibrated we’ve become to each other…
This led me down a small rabbit hole about how much of what we consider “normal” is completely dependent on context.
Here’s a good example: we both drive Teslas and can see each other’s car location in the app. It’s not surveillance; it’s practical. If I’m cooking, I’ll check to see when she’s almost home so I can time dinner. She does the same — it’s very convenient. But if you heard someone tracking someone else’s car via an app, I bet without context, it’d sound more like stalking than anything else!
Same behaviour, two very different vibes depending on context.
My favourite version of this, though, is a meme from a few years ago:
Early 2000s: Don’t meet strangers from the internet or get into their cars.
Late 2020s: Use the internet to summon strangers so you can get into their cars (Uber).
We live in a world where the lines between “sweet” and “slightly alarming” are often paper-thin—and mostly shaped by mutual agreement. What’s comforting in one context might be a red flag in another. And maybe that’s the real definition of intimacy: getting to define your own version of normal, together.
Things that made me ponder
The Australian Federal elections happened recently and I just so happened to stumble on these 2 videos. Even though one is based on ancient Greece and the other on a long dead author, it feels as relevant today as when the works first originated.
Why Socrates Hated Democracy - Turns out, even the ancient Greeks had their doubts on democracy and the pitfalls. It’s an interesting look at the warnings from birthplace of democracy itself.
The Paradox of Being a Good Person - This video takes a dive into the themes and works of George Orwell. I’ve only read 1984 but this short video does do a very good job of capturing the themes (with some spoilers if you haven’t read the books).
Books to read
1984* - It’s a classic for a reason and after the video above on Orwell, I’m going to go read it again.
Weekly Update
What a week it has been! It’s only a few weeks of my old roster that I have left before I change to a much nicer one, but I can already see why I used to be so exhausted…
Went back to a hospital I haven’t been at for nearly a year (and bumped into the colleague from the street that I mentioned last week!)
Had some really challenging/odd cases. No bad outcomes but all a bit strange. Goes to show that you never can predict things fully in healthcare
Felt way more disorganised than normal and didn’t really put my finger on it til I started thinking about this newsletter and realised a lot of it was because so many habits depend on the wife being around!
it’s been a strangely social week. I’m writing this after attending a birthday party (on a Sunday!)
may have been invited to an event in the near future by a brand…
As always, photos and some more details over on the blog
Quote of the week
Won’t be a surprise to see who this week’s quote is from…
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